Eurotrash

Melbourne's Metro are currently running an advertising campaign promoting safety on the railways known as 'Dumb Ways to Die', around all the train stations are images of Mr Men-like characters all meeting some terrible and tragic end.  Unfortunate deaths include everything from poking a bear with a stick to extracting toast from the toaster with a metal fork, from removing your helmet in outer space to eating an out of date pie.  What I didn't realise until recently is that if you go to the website they even have a cheesy little song.  Some of the 'Dumb Ways to Die' even involve trains.

From one cheesy song to a whole continents worth of cheesy songs, it was the Eurovision song contest this weekend.  I knew it was coming up, but did not realise until the first semi-final came on SBS on Friday night that it was so soon.  Back in the UK I had always watched the competition, and in later years shared the enjoyment with my friends David and Kirsty who had taken to holding Eurovision parties.  Even last year we joined them by pure coincidence as we had arrived back in Bath for Gemma and Dan's wedding on the night of the Eurovision live final.  This year however was our first year watching it in Australia, and although it seems strange that Australians would even be interested in such a kitsch European festival we were glad they did.  Anyway it was while watching the semi-finals that I noticed Athina pop online and I suddenly had the brain wave to host my own mini Eurovision party, it didn't take Athina or Sam much convincing and so although small I suddenly had a Eurovision party to plan.  Our house is hardly set up for a party at the moment with only a month left until settlement and everything in boxes, my first job however was to get the decorations in order.  Now a single string of bunting containing the flags of all the finalists might not seem like much effort, but then you are not taking into account the stress involved when dealing with a colourblind printer that insists on inverting the colours on your own national flag.  Decorations finally sorted I needed to consider food, and Barnadi was working so it was down to me to don an apron and oven gloves and whip up a feast in the kitchen.....well a quiche.  Food done all that was left to do was print the score cards and wait for the guests (all 2 of them) to arrive.

Eurovision Decorations

The only drawback of watching Eurovision in Australia is that it is not streamed live, and so the results are already out in the public sphere before it comes on.  Sam had unfortunately checked out the BBC news website earlier in the day and accidentally discovered the winner before the night.  I did my best to avoid finding out, switching the TV off when the news came on and avoiding all British media outlets, but all this counted for nothing when someone from work sent an instant message on facebook and ruined the night for me.  This just left Athina in the dark.  In order not to spoil her night I continued to play along as if I hadn't already found out the winner, but inside I was still seething.  The show was its usual mix of power ballads and cheesy dance tunes, including a Finish lesbian kiss, a levitating soprano Romanian vampire and Greeks in kilts.  My favorite tune however was the Netherlands entry, a slightly unusual ballad in a minor key.  The best song of all though wasn't even an entry in the competition, but sung by the presenter during the interval, a comedic look at all Sweden had to offer.  After what must have been the quickest ever counting of the votes I have ever seen, Denmark was officially announced as the winner.