In Loving Memory

Raymond: 1929-2013

My father passed away last month, and it has been a difficult time for Barnadi, myself and all the rest of my family.  He had been in hospital for some time, but had seemed to be getting better.  It was therefore very unexpected when I received a call from my sister Rachel to say he had taken a turn for the worse and had been transferred to CCU.  This was not the first time he had been to the Coronary Care Unit, but the seriousness of my sisters tone allowed us to realise the severity of his condition without actually having to spell it out to us.  We booked a flight with Singapore airlines as early as we could, but unfortunately we were too late.  It was in Singapore airport that we received the message to call home urgently and it was up to my sister Martha to break the devastating news.  The 5 hours stopover in Singapore airport were the worst of my life.  He was not alone when he passed and he seemed at peace.  It has been reported to me that he knew we were on our way, and that he apologised for not being able to hold on any longer.  It was this last sentiment that stuck in my mind the most and it summed up my dad so completely, in the way that he was always thinking of others before himself.

We stayed with my sister Rachel for 2 weeks, extending our trip so that we could stay for the funeral, which my dad had pre-organised with a funeral plan.  There was not a lot we could do, other than be there for each other.  The British weather constantly interrupting attempts to sort out meetings with family members by snowing.  A lot of the practicalities such as sorting out the will and other legal issues had to be left until after the funeral, but we did what we could, making a start in organising my fathers effects, although this was frequently interrupted when a stash of photos was found and an emotional trip down memory lane was initiated.

The funeral itself went smoothly although I don't think any of us were looking forward to it.  The service somehow making everything more final.  With music picked by my half sister Lesley and some heartfelt words from my Half brother John, the immediate family then followed on to the crematorium to say a final, more personal goodbye.

My father was a kind, gentle, generous man.  He lived a good life although good things may not have always happened to him he never took it personally and kept a positive attitude throughout even towards the end.  He was greatly loved by all his children and grand children, and he loved them each in turn. He will be greatly missed by all who knew him.